Nice people get paid too 🤑

This is a 100% true story about money coming at you from Rachel (hi!) 

Last year, I was at a conference with my co-founder at Maneuvre, Peter, where we caught up with a lot of people and met many of our clients and connections/prospects in person for the first time.

When I was not in the room, someone we met joked to him, “You know, we weren’t sure you were real. We thought maybe Rachel made up a male co-founder to send the invoices to.” 

😬 … 😬

I am a human who likes to operate from a place of chaos, not malice. So when Peter relayed this story later, my first reaction wasn’t anger (promise). I replied, “That’s a brilliant idea. If you didn’t exist, I would absolutely do that.” 

Why? Because I dislike dealing with that side of our business. I used to think it was because I was afraid of asking for money. But I’ve come to realise it is because I am extremely protective of my worth, and let me tell you: there is such a weird silence culture around money! When someone (👋)  breaks that silence, it can get super awkward. 

And in the face of that awkwardness, I get increasingly direct until I get a direct response. 😅 When I was employed, I came to raise and bonus conversations with hard data and practised arguments to, essentially, wear them down with facts.

As a business owner, if someone is being wishy-washy about their rate, I ask for it again or tell them to think about it and send it in writing. If someone doesn’t pay an invoice on time, I will follow up exactly 24 hours after the due date to check-in.

If someone has a problem with an invoice I send, I will ask for a precise explanation of what they find incorrect. And if they can’t pay by the terms we’ve agreed on, I will insist on a clear accounting of how and when they can.

I can get very intense, and it is because I am emotionally invested in getting an answer so I know who I’m dealing with. Is it someone who doesn’t see our value, or someone who isn’t prioritising compensating us for it? I need to know so I can act accordingly.

Understandably, we learned quickly that some humans find it much easier to get money requests, have money conversations, etc., when they deal with someone who is less intense. 

In other words - someone who is not me. 

It’s multifaceted - I am sure it helps Peter is a man (and it is a separate and worthwhile topic about how outdated and awful it is that a man gets a better response than a strong, polite woman)!

But it also helps that he approaches it in a different way. While he’s as protective of our business as I am, he can divorce it entirely from the question of inherent worth. He can follow-up in a way that is more detached and, frankly, wildly more effective. 

My directness is a part of me comes from a lifetime of being questioned about my value.

His balance is a part of him that comes from knowing that what other humans do, say or pay (or don’t do, or don’t say, or don’t pay) has nothing to do with your self-worth.

So, it is no coincidence that most of the thorny questions Jade and I field and consider about money as entrepreneurs and mentors are related to how to build these parts up.

So. Let’s explore one of them today - on pay and worth!

Want advice on your own personal money-related question? Reply to this email (or drop a comment on Substack!) with your question and we may just answer it in our money-talk Q+A at the end of the month!